A dining room this pared back can take one serious deep red. The dog stares straight back at you, suit pressed, wine glass perfectly still on his head. Hung above a sideboard or drinks trolley, he becomes the running joke of the room the one guests notice on the way to the table and bring up again over pudding. He suits warm grey or off-white walls, with black timber, dark leather, and a bit of brass nearby. Stemware, decanters and a few good bottles on the shelf below extend the gag. Don’t overcrowd him with other animal portraits or pub signage one deadpan dog is the whole point. The canvas arrives stretched on a wooden frame, ready to hang.