We like portraits best when they come with a little abrasion. This one stares straight back at you from a deep navy ground, big lashes, pink beak, painterly blue feathers and a cream slogan that does not pretend to be subtle.

What changes when it goes up: a quiet room gets a personality. The navy holds the wall, the bird does the talking, and the room stops feeling polite.

Where to hang it: kitchens, hallways, the downstairs loo, or anywhere the eye lands on the way to the kettle. Works at eye level above a console or shelf rather than floating high on a tall wall.

Pair with painted cabinets, dark wood, brass handles, linen and stoneware. A bit of rattan keeps it warm rather than smug.

What not to do: do not hang it next to a serious landscape or a moody still life. The joke needs space to land. Canvas gives the painterly feathers a softer, more textured edge.